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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23493829">Finally, I'm found</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pigeonatti/pseuds/pigeonatti'>pigeonatti</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Enemies to Friends to Lovers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:32:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,018</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23493829</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pigeonatti/pseuds/pigeonatti</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sara Lance was happy and satisfied about everything. She knew where to go and what to be. She felt complete. But then something happened. She wanted to end it. All of it. The crying. The pain. The hurt. She has lost her compass and now she has lost herself.</p><p>Until one day, someone unexpectedly comes to help her be found again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I'm Here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>***TRIGGER WARNING***<br/><br/>There are hints of suicide throughout this chapter until the end. Im sorry.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Loud voices.</p><p>That’s what she hears once she’s awake. She stayed in bed ten more minutes. And then she heard the closing of the front door. Sara wished she could just disappear and end it all. She didn’t want to face the day anymore. But she remembered what the day was and checked the time.</p><p><em>6:30am</em>, Friday. Finally, the end of the week. She just needs to get through this day and everything will be okay.</p><p>She got up, went to take a shower, and went down to check what the commotion was about. She hoped that no one was there to greet her and there was no one. Her dad already probably left for work. Her mom? Probably went somewhere to clear her mind of whatever they were arguing about. But she knows it’s about her and her recklessness. It’s always about her. They have become overprotective parents and she became more reckless. She stopped caring for the consequences for every decision that she makes. She had been called to the Principal’s office every week that it almost became a routine. Except for this week. This week she decided not to cause a problem to anyone. She layed low as if she didn't exist.</p><p>She went to the kitchen to grab something to eat and left for school.</p><p>School was okay for her. She was part of a group of the best friends that any person could ask for. They called themselves ‘Legends’ because of the legendary things that they did throughout highschool. There was Jax, who led the basketball team to the championship two years in a row. He was awarded MVP to both of them. Nate and Ray, the two geeks that she never expected to be friends with in the first place. Without them, there would be no History and Science Club since they practically made it two of the greatest clubs ever that even I was tempted to join. Amaya and Zari, her best friends ever since they were 7. They were not only my support group but they also became the class' support group. Me? Nothing is legendary about me, except the time when I stood up to the school bully, Mick Rory. He slowly became part of the legends after that. You’ll be surprised but he’s actually a softie.</p><p>Sara had her friends. Until she started pushing them away. She started avoiding them in classes and the hallways. She even stopped sitting with them in the cafeteria. Today she saw them near her locker. She wanted to run to them, apologize, and just hug them tightly as she could. But she didn’t. The stubborn person that she is, she just went to class without her books.</p><p>She stayed silent throughout her classes. No matter how hard she wanted to just abruptly leave and never look back. Not even her favorite teacher, Mr. Stein, made the lessons interesting. Her classes finally ended. She looked at the time. <em>3:30pm</em>. On the way out, she saw her friends and she caught Amaya looking back. Her eyes looked worried and caring. She just gave her a faint smile and walked away.</p><p>She got home and stood in front of the house. Looking at it from afar like it’s the last. Memories of her family came flooding in. Happy memories. She looked at Laurel’s bedroom window and remembered how she helped her get into the house through her window when she sneaked out to go to a party.</p><p>
  <em>She noticed that her mom was awake in the kitchen and she can’t just walk through the front door or else she’ll be grounded. She called Laurel’s phone and she explained her situation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hey, Laurel. How are you? Are you awake?” She asked Laurel once she answered the call. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Well I am now. And why are you even calling me? You’re like in the next room.” Laurel told her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah about that. I’m actually outside and mom is in the kitchen and I can’t just walk through the front door, you know.” She saw Laurel in her window and gave her a hesitant look. She cut the call and she thought she was done. A few seconds later, Laurel opened her window and threw down a rope. Once she’s in the house, she felt relieved and hugged her sister. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Care to explain why you’re outside at 1 in the morning?” Laurel asked. She smiled and Laurel already knew. It’s like she can read her mind. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re lucky I’m here. And you’re lucky I’m going to hike this weekend or else you’ll just have to walk through the front door.” Laurel told her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh is that what that was for. I thought it’s something for your boyfriend.” She winked at Laurel. Laurel crossed her arms. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hmm...maybe I’ll go down and tell mom that you sneaked out and climbed through my window just to avoid being grounded.” She felt her body tense. Laurel grabbed her shoulders and smiled. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You know what, just go to your room. Lessen the sneaking out okay.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Thank you for being my sister.” She hugged her sister and went to her room. </em>
</p><p>---</p><p>She noticed that her eyes were tearing up. She missed her sister. It was one of her last memories with her and she wished she could physically go back to them and re-experience them like it was the present.</p><p>She went inside and saw Dinah in the kitchen. She probably just got home since she was fixing groceries. Dinah noticed her standing by the doorway.</p><p>“Hi honey. How was school?” Dinah asked. She didn’t know what was happening because next thing she knew she was walking towards her mother and hugged her. She broke away from the hug and saw the surprised reaction from her mother.</p><p>“Everything went well. The walk was tiring. I’ll go to my room and rest.” She gave her a genuine smile.</p><p>“Ok. You need anything? I could prepare you a snack or something.” Dinah asked. She looked taken aback by Sara’s hug that she suddenly regretted her actions.</p><p>“No, I’m fine. Thanks.” She left the kitchen and went to her room. She put her bag down and slumped on her bed. She looked at her phone and looked at the time. 4:35pm. She opened her Twitter to pass the time. She scrolled through her feed and decided to check what her friends are doing. She might have pushed them away but she still cares about them. She came across Ray’s tweet.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>     Ray </b>
  <span>@_raypalmer ` </span>
  <em>
    <span>5m</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>     I don't know what highschool would be like without you guys! #legendsforever</span>
</p><p>
  <span>         <em>Photo (</em></span>
  <span>
    <em>Tagged: Amaya Jiwe; Zari Tomaz; Jefferson Jackson; Nate Heywood; Mick Rory)</em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>          |</span>
</p><p>
  <b>          Nate </b>
  <span>@NHeywood01 ` </span>
  <em>
    <span>4m</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>          You know we’ll always be here 👊</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>It was a photo of the legends after class. Before I saw Amaya looking at me. Before I started walking away from them.</p><p>She put her phone down to her chest. ‘What have I done?’ She thought to herself. Trying to hold off the tears. She missed her friends. They are the only ones that she had and she blew it. She pushed the thought away and closed her eyes. She started to drift away.</p><p>She opened her eyes and the room was dark. ‘How long has she slept?’ She thought to herself. She looked at the time. <em>10:25pm</em>. She slept for almost 6 hours. She didn’t realize she was that tired. She got up and changed her clothes. She saw Laurel’s hoodie and almost wanted to go back to sleep and forget it all. But no. She wanted to do this. She grabbed it, put it over her head, and silently went out of her room. She went down and lucky for her, her parents were already asleep.</p><p>She sneaked out of the house and started running. It’s the first time she ran in months. Three months to be exact. Ever since it happened. Running is her safe place. She runs to calm herself. To clear all the thoughts floating in her mind, good or bad. She kept on running and running until there’s no more place to run. She didn’t know where else to go so she just went to wherever her feet took her. She got off the street and went into the woods. She looked at her watch. <em>11:20pm</em>. She kept on running and started to realize that she was not familiar with this part of the woods. She stopped to catch her breath. She looked around and saw no sign of anything human. The ground seemed untouched. She closed her eyes and started listening. It was quiet. Peaceful. She started walking and ended up on a cliff.</p><p>“This is it.” She told herself out loud. She can see the town from above. She can see the beach where Laurel would take her whenever she felt down. They would watch the waves until it calmed her down. She looked at her watch. <em>11:55pm</em>. Five more minutes until midnight. The end of the day.</p><p> </p><p><em>11:56pm</em>. She started remembering her friends. Are they still thinking of me?</p><p> </p><p><em>11:57pm</em>. She thought of her parents. She realized she never left them something to find.</p><p> </p><p><em>11:58pm</em>. She started walking towards the edge of the cliff. She felt her legs shaking.</p><p> </p><p><em>11:59pm</em>. She thought of Laurel. She knows Laurel will hate her for doing this. She will hate her for even thinking of it. But she just wants it to end. All of it.</p><p> </p><p><em>12:00am</em>.</p><p> </p><p>She took a step and suddenly felt a hand on her wrist. She was being tugged away from the cliff by an unknown person. The next thing she knew, she was face to face with this woman.  Blue eyes looking through her with concern and worry. She was finally pulled back into reality when the woman spoke.</p><p>“What do you think are you doing?” Sara just stared at her, confused. The woman looked at her and it's like she already knows. The woman made a move to hug her and she just stood there. Taking in what just happened and the woman in front of her.</p><p>"I am here."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi!! This is actually my first ever fic and English isn't my first language so please bear with me. And the idea just came to me so I decided to write it into an Avalance fic because I really really really miss them.<br/>I just wrote this today so I hope you liked it.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. We Meet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sara tried to live the day as normal as possible. But nothing ever seemed to stay normal in her life.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sara was awoken by a repeatedly loud knock on her door. She looked at the time. 6:07am.</p><p>"It's Saturday. No school." She shouted back to whoever's knocking and put a pillow over her head. Her mother barged into her room with a face she can't seem to read.</p><p>"Where did you go last night? There's mud all over the floor from the front door all the way to your room. There are dangerous people out there and what? You decided to go out in the middle of the night? Alone? What were you thinking?" There was an obvious anger in her mother's tone. And worry. She removed the pillow over her face and sat up against her headboard.</p><p>"Look nothing happened. I just went out for a run and went straight back home. You were in your room and thought of not bothering you. I'm fine, okay. I'm here." As she said it, she froze. The events of last night suddenly flashed through her mind. Her mother noticed her daughter blank out and sat beside her. "Are you okay honey? You got lost there for a moment." Sara nodded.</p><p>"Yeah, I just remembered something." She shook her head off. She looked at her hands which her mother started holding. "We're just...worried...about you. Something could have happened to you and we don't know where you were or what you were doing or who you were with. You cannot just go out and not tell us. You cannot keep doing this." Her mother's voice cracked. She noticed the pain that her face tried to hide but her voice couldn't. She knows this is not just about last night. She noticed her father standing by the doorway in his police uniform. He's probably about to leave to go to the station. And both of them in her room? She doesn't want this talk at this time. Not this early in the morning. And definitely not after last night. Quentin started walking towards Dinah to comfort her.</p><p>"Why don't have this talk later when we're all very awake and in the proper state huh? Come." He started leading her mother out of her room. Her father stayed and looked at her. She noticed the stress from her father's face. She knows that he's been voluntarily taking the double shifts at the station and distracting himself with work.</p><p>"Your mother is just protecting you kid. You're the only one we have right now and we can't lose you too." She felt her eyes start to tear up but she just shook it off.</p><p>"No, I know. I'm trying. I just...need more time." She tried to sound convincing. She knows she's not but she knows her father will not push her for more information, not until she's ready.</p><p>"Just keep in mind that we're always here okay. Your mother and I. You can talk to us. Whatever it is that you want to talk about." Quentin assured her. She wanted to let it all out then and there but she stopped herself. Sara just nodded and Quentin left her room.</p><p>She wanted to go back to sleep but she just laid on her bed as she remembered how she got there in the first place.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "I am here." The woman told her. There was comfort in her voice and warmth in her embrace. For the first time in a long time, she can't seem to pull away from the care that this woman is giving her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> 'Where did this woman come from?' She thought to herself. The woman moved away and put her hands on Sara's shoulders. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "I'm Ava. Can you tell me your name?" She caringly smiled at her. She suddenly can't find her voice. Her name. She needs to tell her her name. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Sa...Sara. My name's Sara." She noticed Ava's face. She doesn't know her but she noticed she is concerned about her. Who is she? She had lived in Star City all her life and not once has she seen her. She finally got to her senses and remembered why she was there in the first place. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Who...what are you doing here? Where did you come from?" She slowly stepped away from her. She looked around to see if there were others with her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Hey, it's okay Sara. You're okay." Ava tried to calm her as she put her hand on Sara's chest. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Were you following me?"  She stepped farther back. She looked at her with a judging look on her face. Worried with Ava's knowledge of whatever she might have witnessed, she started running away.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Sara, wait…" She heard Ava shout her name. And then she was gone. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Once she saw familiarity with her surroundings, she stopped running and started to catch her breath. She started pacing. She felt her stomach churning. She felt her knees wanting to give up. This was all supposed to be over tonight but she's still here. She's still here. Because of Ava. Who she left at the cliff. Who is she? Why was she there? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She tried to shake off all the questions in her head except for one.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> What is she going to do now? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She stopped pacing and took a deep breath. She started running again and the next thing she knew she's in front of her house.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She looked at her watch. 1:40am. Another day. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She sighed. "Another day it is." </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She quietly went inside and checked if anyone noticed she left. When everything seemed undisturbed, she headed to her room, not noticing the muddy footprints that she was leaving. She removed her shoes and changed her clothes. She slowly went to her bed and just laid there as she stared at the ceiling for a few seconds. Thoughts soon flooded her mind. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> 'What the hell happened tonight? Who was that woman? What was she doing there? What if she tells someone? What if she goes to the station and finds my dad? What if my dad finds out and tells my mom?' </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The thoughts had become too overwhelming that she started to cry. She wanted to shout. She wanted to cry it all out as if the tears would take all the thoughts away. She put her pillow over her head just to make it all stop. Once she somehow calmed down, she removed the pillow over her head as she kept her eyes closed. She took deep breaths until she stopped crying. The tears tired her eyes out and she finally got to sleep, slightly hoping not to see the light of day later in the morning. </em>
</p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>She felt her phone vibrate. She realized she had dozed off. She tried to sleep more since she only got a few hours but the morning scenario had fully awoken her. She checked her phone and there was a text from Amaya.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Amaya Jiwe, </em>
  </strong>
  <em>8:02am</em>
</p><p>Hey, Sara</p><p>I just want to check up on you</p><p>I know ur avoiding us and all but u can still talk to us</p><p>We miss you. </p><p> </p><p>For a moment, she almost texted Amaya back. She wanted to talk about what's been happening in her life. She wanted to tell her about last night. About the mysterious woman who appeared out of nowhere. But then she would also have to tell her what she was doing there and why.</p><p>Actually, it's not just Amaya who texted her. The legends had been continuously sending her messages for the past three months to check up on her. It started off with messages asking her how she was or if she needs company as they know that Sara and deep dark emotions don't really go well together. But lately, it would be just some random messages just to keep the connection going. At first it's supposed to be only through texts, but then she started avoiding them at School. She stopped sitting with the legends at the cafeteria. They gave her space until she's ready. But the more she kept to herself, the more that she got used to being alone. The legends had never lost contact with her. It is her who cut her ties with her friends. And now, as much as she hates to admit it, she regrets her decision.</p><p>She sat up from her bed and saw how messy her room was. She saw her muddy sneakers on the floor next to Laurel's hoodie. She got up to get it and hugged it tightly.</p><p>"I miss you so much Laurel. I'm so sorry." She sighed. She shook it off before she started crying again. She gathered her dirty clothes and her shoes to wash it later in the day. </p><p>She went to the bathroom to take a shower before going down. She knows her mother will try to talk to her again. At least this time, she's more clear-headed.</p><p>As she went down the stairs, she smelled pancakes. “Well that's new”, she said to herself. She went to the kitchen and saw her mother piling up pancakes on a plate.</p><p>"Oh good you're fully awake and cleaned up. I made you pancakes." She felt her stomach growl. She realized that she hadn't eaten since she got home from school yesterday. She sat down as her mother put the plate in front of her. </p><p>"I'm sorry." Sara spoke as Dinah took out the strawberries and whipping cream from the fridge and placed it on the table.</p><p>"I know I shouldn't have gone out last night. It was reckless of me and I'm sorry." Dinah was surprised with Sara apologising. Whenever she was called to the Principal's office, Sara always defends herself and blames other people for her callous behaviour. But this time, she took the blame.</p><p>Dinah smiled as she took her daughter by her shoulders and looked at her. "You know that I love you, right? You are my daughter and I'm your mother. I just don't want anything bad to happen to you." </p><p>Dinah hugged her tightly but Sara didn't hug her back this time. Dinah slowly moved away. "Eat. I'll take care of your dirty clothes from last night." </p><p>Sara nodded and gave her a small smile as Dinah left the kitchen. She let out a long breath she didn't realize she was holding. </p><p>After breakfast, she went back to her room. She didn't even bother reaching her bed as she laid down on the floor and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes. She recently realized she does that nowadays. From the overwhelming amount of thoughts that flooded her mind last night, this time her mind went blank. </p><p>She didn't expect to get this far. Her plan was simple and final. Go someplace where no one would expect to find you and just go through with it. No one would find her at the cliff. Especially not in the middle of the night. Yet Ava did. Since her plan was disrupted, she had no idea on what she would do next.</p><p>She decided on the next logical thing that she thinks should do right now. She took out her headphones and connected it to her phone and played some <em> Of Monsters and Men </em> songs to quiet everything out. She started dozing off again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "Look at the waves. Look how calm they are right now." Laurel spoke as Sara stared at the sea. The waves are not as strong as they were before. They removed their shoes off and stood by the shore as the warm water came drowning their feet. Sara closed her eyes for a moment as she felt the warm air hit her face and the humidity against her skin. She listened to the quiet splash of the waves as it hit the shore. She didn't expect that being on the beach could give her a sense of peace.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She felt the sunlight starting to fade against her eyes. She opened them and saw the sun slowly setting down. She turned and looked at Laurel. Except, she was gone. She looked around. She was all alone. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> --</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She opened her eyes to the loud argument happening downstairs. She looked at her phone and noticed the music stopped playing. She checked the time. <em> 12:20pm. </em> It's the middle of the day and she got curious as to why her father was home early. She got up and slightly opened the door to listen. She couldn't understand what her parents were arguing about but she heard them mention her name. And then Laurel's name. Suddenly, the air felt quiet.</p><p>Then she heard footsteps coming up the stairs. She immediately closed the door and sat by the side of her bed as she heard the loud banging of the door outside her room.</p><p>She sighed and slumped her back down. A minute later, she looked at her desk and saw the books on top of it. She remembered that she still has homework to be done. She didn't really plan on doing them since she was not supposed to be here in the first place.</p><p>"I guess I still have some homework to do."  She told herself as she got up to her desk and started gathering her things. She started doing whatever homework she had. At least she tried to.</p><p>After an hour, she felt hungry and tired. She got up to stretch her arms and went out of her room. She quietly went down to the kitchen trying not to get her parents' attention. She took an apple and found a bag of chips by the pantry. 'Food is food.' She thought to herself as she gathered any food that caught her eye just to stop her stomach from grumbling. As she filled up her water bottle, she looked at the window and saw her father outside talking to someone on the phone. She noticed the mixture of pain and relief from her father's face as he got off the phone. He stood there for a few seconds to gather himself before going inside. She decided to stay there and not run up to her room. </p><p>Quentin stopped by the kitchen doorway and looked at Sara. "Hey kid. Please tell me that's not lunch." Quentin asked as he saw the choice of food Sara is holding. </p><p>"I have an apple." She raised it to show him just to justify her unhealthy food choices. </p><p>"Yeah not gonna happen." Quentin took the chips from her as she tried to swat away his arm. </p><p>"I'll prepare your food and take it to your room. For the meantime, eat the apple." Quentin teased her as she left the kitchen and went to her room. How can she say no to prepared food, right?</p><p>A few minutes later, she heard a knock on her door. Sara got up to open the door and Quentin went inside holding two bowls of pasta. He gave one to Sara and he sat down on her bed with his own bowl. They both ate in silence when Quentin started speaking.</p><p>"I was given an assignment by the chief."  He told her as she took another bite of her food. She noticed that this assignment was serious.</p><p>"What kind of assignment?" She asked, hoping that it was not what she was thinking of.</p><p>"The kind that might put me in danger." He looked at Sara with a sorry look on his face. She did not expect the next words coming out of his mouth. </p><p>"I accepted it." A mixture of shock and annoyance is evident on Sara.</p><p>"What? You're kidding right? You just said that it would put you in danger so why…" She stopped herself from talking and put her food down. She got up and started walking across her room to try to calm her nerves down. She turned to his father with her arms crossed hinting for him to further explain himself.</p><p>"I have to do this Sara. I need to do this." He told her as he emphasized his latter statement.</p><p>"What if it gets you killed, dad? What happens then? What happens to us? How about mom?" Sara cried out. She noticed Dinah standing by her bedroom door and saw the stress on her eyes, probably from when they were arguing earlier. </p><p>She missed Laurel during these times. Laurel often gets to talk Quentin out of taking dangerous assignments. But she's not her now. And she doesn't know what to do.</p><p>"You know what? Fine. It's your choice." She bolted out of her room and left her parents. She went out of the house and stood there for a moment. She started running again and went to the one place that she needed to be right now.</p><p> </p><p>As she heard the splash of the waves, she started slowing down. It has been a while since she was here. Once she's off the road, she removed her shoes and felt the warm sand by her feet. She looked around and saw children running around and building sand castles. She saw families happily spending their time with one another. She noticed how crowded the beach was today and this annoyed her. So she walked further down to the less crowded part of the beach. Once she knew she's far away from everyone, she finally sat down putting her knees up against her chest. She looked at the sea and noticed how the waves get stronger everytime it hits the shore. As if it feels the chaos building up inside her.</p><p>She put her arms down as she playfully gathered the sand with her hands. She looked back at the sea and closed her eyes, feeling the cold air breeze as it hit her face. She laid her back down on the sand with her arms open as if she's welcoming it to consume her body whole. </p><p>Moments later, she felt the bright light dim against her eyes. It confused her since the sun is still up high and it will still be a few hours before sunset. </p><p>As she opened her eyes, she saw a woman standing over her. She can't get a good look of her face since she's standing against the sun so she sat up to get a clearer look.</p><p>"It's kind of funny how we keep meeting like this." Her voice felt familiar as she started to see the person standing over her.</p><p>It was Ava.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Firstly, I apologize for leaving this chapter in another cliffhanger. Next chapter will be longer and I'll try to write in as much Avalance as I can.</p><p>Also, I started working at home that's why I wrote this but since being at home made my work more difficult I might not be able to regularly update.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I'm Ava</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ava didn't expect much once she had moved to Star City. But what she definitely didn't expect was meeting Sara in the middle of the night at a cliff before she ran away from her.</p>
<p>She saw her again sitting alone by the beach. Hoping this time, she won't run away.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is in Ava's pov.</p>
<p>***TW: Suicide/Depression***</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ava Sharpe had lived in D.C. ever since she can remember. So when she was told that they were moving farther west, she had mixed feelings about it. She had actually lived at Star City before when it was still known as Starling City. She had lived there for a few years after she was born, until her father got a promotion and so she and her family got transferred to DC.</p>
<p>She was a top student at her class, which gained the respect of her peers. So when a new student came into the picture, she made the first move to welcome her and she had been her best friend ever since. When she saw her best friend's name pop up on her phone screen, her eyes lit up and she smiled as if Nora Darhk can see through it.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>
  <em>(Friday) </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Nora</strong> 7:22am </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Good morning!!!! </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Flight went well last night?? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Ava</strong> 7:23am</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I know the flight was just a few hrs </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>but nothing has ever made me that tired before </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And good morning to you too</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Nora</strong>,7:23am </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Really?? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Nothing??? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Ava</strong> 7:24am</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Shut up</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You know what i mean</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Anyway, i miss u already</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Nora</strong> 7:24am</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yeah i know u do</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I miss u too</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I still need to get used to you not being here</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Ava</strong> 7:24am</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Don't worry, once we've settled here</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I'll try to come there and visit u</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>7:25am</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Hey i hve to go Text u later?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Nora,</strong> 7:25am</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yeah sure</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Just text me when u can </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ava was up early and she blamed it on jetlag from the flight. She sat up from the bed and remembered that she still had some things to unpack. She didn't bring most of her things but there's still much to organize. She got up and cleaned herself up before going down. She went to the kitchen to get something to eat when her mother called from the living room.</p>
<p>"Good morning Mom. What's up?" She said as she went to hug her mother.</p>
<p>"Have you started unpacking your bags yet?" Her mother asked.</p>
<p>"Some of it. But I still need to organize my room." "Good. Because I spoke with the Principal at your new school. She was amazed by your transcript and said, quote unquote, it will be an honor to have you on board." Her mother cheerfully informed her.</p>
<p>"That's great! I mean I never did doubt my abilities but that's amazing. I just didn't expect to get settled here that fast."</p>
<p>"I know you already miss DC but change is good honey. When you know how to handle it. And I know you do." Her mom assured her as Ava slowly made a move to the kitchen.</p>
<p>"I know. Anyway, I'll just have my breakfast then unpack the rest of my things so I will be done early."</p>
<p>Ava went back to the kitchen to grab something before going up to her room. She was finally done organizing her room when she heard a car got into the driveway. She looked out the window and went down right away. She was already down the stairs when the front door opened and immediately hugged her dad. Her father groaned as he caught Ava's weight.</p>
<p>"Dad! You're finally here." Ava exclaimed. She and her mom left earlier than her dad because he still had some work that needs to be done back at DC. She moved away from the hug to give her father some space.</p>
<p>"Well someone's cheerful today."</p>
<p>"My transfer already got approved and I'm done organizing my room. I feel like I am settling in just fine."</p>
<p>"Seems like you're done for the rest of the day. How about we go out?"</p>
<p>Ava took a shower and changed into some jeans and a gray hoodie. She went down and met her parents by the car. Ava might have lived in Star City before but she didn't really remember much and many things have changed. They went around the city and surprisingly, some things did stay the same. Some roads felt familiar to her as they passed by the Nursery she went to when she was young. After an hour of going around, they decided to have their dinner outside since they still need to buy some groceries.</p>
<p>They got home and Ava still felt a bit energized. As soon as she stepped inside their house, she went straight to the living room. She dropped her bag by the couch and opened the tv. Her parents sat down with her and together they watched some random movie just to pass the time. Once the movie ended, she noticed it's already late. She remembered that she was supposed to text Nora once she's done unpacking so she searched for her phone in her bag. When she realized it was not there, she thought she might have left it back at the restaurant. She told her Dad and asked her if he should go with her. She declined assuring him that she remembered the way. He gave her the car keys and as she stepped out of the driveway, she almost ran into this woman having a run late at night. The woman didn't even bother berating her for almost, but not really, killing her and immediately left as if someone's chasing her. She got to the restaurant and lucky for her it’s still open. The owner was kind enough to have kept her phone and handed it over to her after she proved it was hers.</p>
<p>As she stepped out of the restaurant, she saw that same woman she almost hit and noticed something unusual from the woman. She decided to follow her and when she went into the woods, she realized that something is DEFINITELY not right. She contemplated whether she should follow her or not. She doesn't know her and she could just only be overanalyzing things. She looked at the time, <em>11:15pm</em>. After a few minutes, she stepped out of the car and went to follow her. She left some carvings on the trees she passed in case she gets lost finding her way back. She looked at the time. <em>11:48pm</em>. She walked further more and almost decided to return back when she heard footsteps.</p>
<p><em>11:56pm</em>. She tried to follow the sound of the footsteps until it went quiet.</p>
<p><em>11:57pm</em>. She was nearing the cliff when she heard sobs coming from someone.</p>
<p><em>11:58pm</em>. She saw the woman standing near the edge of the cliff looking back at the city below.</p>
<p><em>11:59pm</em>. The woman took another step and stopped as if she's remembering something.</p>
<p><em>12:00am</em>.</p>
<p>She saw what the woman was about to do. Before she took another step, Ava ran out and took the woman by the hand pulling her away from the cliff. Ava tried to steady her as she felt the slight quiver from the woman. She saw how tired her face was as she looked at her with the most rigid expression. When she caught the woman's blue eyes staring back at her, she easily understood. She moved to hug her. As soon as she moved away, she introduced herself but the woman seemed to still be in shock of what just happened.</p>
<p>Sara. Her name was Sara.</p>
<p>She tried to get the conversation going but it looked like Sara had just woken up from a trance and stepped back away from her. Ava tried to calm her down but she ran away as she called back her name. She tried to follow her but she got worried that she might spook her more.</p>
<p>'At least I got to her in time' she tried to assure herself. She easily found her way back thanks to the markings that she left on the trees. Once she’s in the car, she checked her phone and saw 3 missed calls from her dad. She put her phone down and just went straight back home.</p>
<p>When she got home, she saw her father asleep on the couch, probably waiting for her. She woke him up to let him know she's home. He asked where she'd been and felt bad when she lied but she didn't want to worry him. She told him that she got lost along the way that's why it took her a long time to come back. Her father seemed to accept it and she went straight to her room.</p>
<p>As she laid by her bed, she squeezed her eyes shut and remembered the woman from earlier. She hoped that she did not make the situation worse. She wanted to text Nora about it but she felt exhausted from all the running and walking. She reminded herself to text her tomorrow.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>The morning went by fine and remembered to text Nora. She told her what happened last night. She walked from the kitchen to the living room as she waited for her reply. After a few seconds, her phone rang and Nora's name showed up on the screen.</p>
<p>"Ava Sharpe! Please tell me you didn't. You didn't even know her. What if she was a serial killer and she was there in the middle of the night to hide the body she just killed?"</p>
<p>"First, that's just absurd. Second, she didn't even look like a serial killer. And if she were, I probably would have called the police. Third, I'm safe. See I'm talking to you right now."</p>
<p>"Or are you?"</p>
<p>"Funny."</p>
<p>"I just called to check if you're you. And it seems that you still are so I have to go. I volunteered for this after-school activity thing today. Talk to you later, alright. And please don't go into another rendezvous. Don't make me come there and punch you in the face, Sharpe."</p>
<p>"I won't." Before she was about to say goodbye, the call had already ended. She was sitting on the couch and noticed how empty and quiet the house felt. She already missed her best friend and how she would come over to pass the time. Her father had to go to work today and her mother met with some of her friends here that she hadn't seen in a long time. Which left her all alone. With nothing to do, she decided to spend her time watching a movie. It took her a few minutes before settling on some random animated film on Netflix. The film had ended and noticed that the day was still young. She decided to go for a run so she went to her room and changed into some work out clothes. She passed by the park and stopped when she got to the beach. She looked around and felt dismayed by the number of people currently occupying the place. By the corner of her eye, she saw a woman walking away from the crowd. It shouldn't have caught her attention except she felt familiar, considering the fact that she doesn't know anyone here. There's only one person that she could think of so she decided to go down and walk towards her.</p>
<p>"One step of settling in. Make friends." She told herself. When she knew the woman had been made aware of her presence, she spoke.</p>
<p>"It's kind of funny how we keep meeting like this." Sara moved to stand. As she got a clear view of the woman’s face, she noticed the dark circles under her eyes.</p>
<p>"Please don't run. I was just nearby and thought I saw you. So I decided to come by and say hi." She gave her a reassuring smile. "Hi." Ava gave her a small wave.</p>
<p>"Are you following me? Because that's just creepy and I don’t think I have seen you here before.”</p>
<p>Ava frowned as she became defensive. "No. I'm not stalking you. I don't even know you."</p>
<p>"Exactly." Sara started walking away.</p>
<p>"Wait, I...I actually just moved here. In Star City. I mean I lived here a few years back but it was a really long time ago and I don't remember much of it. But then we moved to DC because of my dad's job and now we moved back here again because..." She stopped speaking as she noticed Sara amusingly staring at her.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry I'm just talking nonsense now." Ava lowered her head.</p>
<p>"No keep going. It's kinda cute." She glanced up and saw the smirk on Sara's face.</p>
<p>"Why don't we just start over. I'm Ava." Ava let out her hand and Sara took it.</p>
<p>"I'm Sara. It's nice to meet you Ava." Sara started walking away from the shore and Ava followed. They sat at the picnic table but still stayed far away from the crowd. They both sat in silence as Sara kept her head down and kept playing with the rings on her finger.</p>
<p>"About last night, I really don't know what to say." Sara still avoids to look at the woman in front of her.</p>
<p>"You don't have to say anything. I know I literally have no business being there but…"</p>
<p>"...but you were still there." Sara finally looked up. This time it was Ava who lowered her head, pressing her lips together. She saved her. She shouldn't be feeling this way. Ava clenched her jaw and paid attention to Sara instead of her own thoughts.</p>
<p>"You don't need to explain yourself to me like I just caught you stealing. But I meant what I said before. I'm here for you if you need someone."</p>
<p>Sara cocked her head and Ava saw a smile from the corner of the woman's mouth. She didn't know if Sara would immediately trust her but it's worth a try.</p>
<p>"But if you did steal something I need to inform the authorities."</p>
<p>"Thanks jerk." They both laughed. She saw the woman's face lit up as the weariness slowly disappeared.</p>
<p>"Just so you know, I did follow you when I saw you. And I'm not trying to be creep. But then I saw you went to the woods. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry. For running away. Everything just happened so fast. I didn't know what to do." Ava gave her a gentle smile as they both fell silent.</p>
<p>"You want to go grab a bite?" Ava asked, breaking the awkward silence between them. Sara nodded as they both stood up. Ava bought a burger while Sara bought two hotdog sandwiches. They got their food and went back to the table. They ate in silence as they watched the sun go down. She glanced at Sara and noticed how preoccupied she seemed. After Sara was done eating, she stared at the shore and opened her mouth to speak.</p>
<p>"My sister. She died three months ago." Sara felt like it was the first time she had said it out loud.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry. Were you very close?"</p>
<p>"Very much. Let's just say that she was there when I needed her. She really helped me get through a lot.” Sara felt her eyes starting to tear up. Ava wanted to ask how she died but she felt like she could be overstepping.</p>
<p>"What's her name?" Ava asked.</p>
<p>"Laurel. She was the best. The best out of the two of us actually.”</p>
<p>"Ok now you're straight up lying." Sara looked at her confused.</p>
<p>"I don't think she could beat you in eating that fast, let alone eat two hotdog sandwiches." Sara chuckled. She noticed how Ava was trying to make her feel better. She appreciated it.</p>
<p>Ava looked at her phone and saw a message from her mom. She excused herself and called her mother to inform her of her whereabouts.</p>
<p>"Needed back home?" Sara asked as Ava got back to the table.</p>
<p>"Yeah. But I want to stay here. It's nice." Sara liked talking to Ava but she didn't want to waste her time if there's someplace she needed to be.</p>
<p>“What were you doing here anyway? Besides lying on the sand.”</p>
<p>“Oh you know. Just waiting for it to consume me.” Sara looked at her with an empty stare then broke out in an inappropriate laugh. Ava was used to dark humor and noticed how she used it to cope with her emotions. Sara swallowed hard and looked away.</p>
<p>"Laurel used to bring me here. When something happens that I can't control. Watching the waves helped me calm down."</p>
<p>Ava can't help but look at her with pity. She knows Sara is a strong woman. But we all can't be strong all the time.</p>
<p>"Why don't I walk you back home? You said so yourself you just moved here. It's better to have someone familiar in a strange new place." Ava nodded and they both stood up.</p>
<p>"I also did say that I lived here before." Ava said as they walked.</p>
<p>"Yeah when you were a child. How old were you? Two?"</p>
<p>"Ok I was five. I still remembered the time when I was here. Just not that clear."</p>
<p>They went back and forth with the banter and Sara realized that she missed this. She planned to talk to the legends once she felt a bit like herself again.</p>
<p>As they were nearing Ava's house, Sara felt anxious. She liked the company of Ava and didn't want it to end. But she doesn't really know her.</p>
<p>"Don't you have friends here? Like before you left?"</p>
<p>"I've had friends. But I don't know if they're still here in Star City. I mean I have you." Ava felt her face blush and immediately turned away from Sara as she realized what she just said. "Or maybe I could meet your friends."</p>
<p>"What makes you think I have friends?"</p>
<p>"You don't?" Ava cocked her eyebrow as she looked at Sara.</p>
<p>"I…" Sara didn't know what to say. She chewed on her lip and kept her focus on the ground beneath her.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Ava got worried that she might have offended the first friend that she had made.</p>
<p>"No it's okay." Sara paused. "I kind of pushed them away. It's my fault." They both felt silent as they walked.</p>
<p>When they reached her house, Sara noticed the car by the driveway. Ava saw the questionable look on her face.</p>
<p>"Are you okay?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. That car just looked familiar." As Sara said it, Ava remembered the accident that she almost caused the night before.</p>
<p>"Remember when I told you I saw you running on my way out of the restaurant?" Sara nodded.</p>
<p>"I may or may not have seen you before that. Like, in front of this house. As the car was backing out of the driveway..." Ava saw as the sudden realization hit Sara.</p>
<p>Sara’s mouth fell open. "Oh my god it was you!" She remembered almost being hit by a car last night when she was running.</p>
<p>"First off, I didn't really see you. And second, no one runs late at night. Like you literally came out of nowhere."</p>
<p>"I guess I should be the one calling the authorities." Sara teased her as Ava hit her arm.</p>
<p>“Hey!” They both laughed as they walked to the front door.</p>
<p>"Thank you again. For today. It felt nice talking to someone." Ava stopped and turned to Sara.</p>
<p>"You should try talking to your friends. I'm sure they really miss you." Ava looked at her.</p>
<p>"But if you still need someone to talk to…"</p>
<p>"I'm here." "You're here." They both spoke at the same time.</p>
<p>"Good night Ava." Sara walked back and gave her a slight nod.</p>
<p>"Good night Sara." Ava waved back as she went inside.</p>
<p>Once inside, she was immediately welcomed by her mother. She saw the teasing smile from her mother's face as she went to hug her.</p>
<p>"Who was that? Have you made a friend already?"</p>
<p>"I did. And I'm going to my room now. Good night mom." She kissed her mom goodbye trying to avoid whatever it is her mother was thinking and went up to her room.</p>
<p>"Invite her to dinner next time." Her mom shouted as she closed her bedroom door. She slumped her body on the bed and immediately took out her phone to text Nora.</p>
<p>___</p>
<p>
  <em>(Saturday) </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Ava</strong>, 8:20pm</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Guess who I made friends with today?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Nora</strong>, 8:22pm</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Don't u dare replace me Sharpe</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ok but who was it?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Ava</strong>, 8:23pm</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Sara</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The woman from last night</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She was actually nice</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Nora</strong>, 8:23pm</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Wow </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>At least but her dinner first...</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Ava</strong>, 8:24pm </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I hate u</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It's not even like that</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She needed someone and i gladly volunteered</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Nora</strong>, 8:25pm </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>How was she?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Ava,</strong> 8:25pm </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Better? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Talking helped</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Nora</strong>, 8:26pm</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Good. but just be careful </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I dont want u getting hurt again </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Ava</strong>, 8:26pm</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I know, but she's different</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She's special </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I just want to help her</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Nora</strong>, 8:26pm </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Sometimes i hate u for caring too much</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But that's what i also like about u</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Ava</strong> , 8:27pm</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And that's why ur my best friend</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Nora,</strong> 8:27pm</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yeah i know</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Good night Ava </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em><strong>Ava,</strong> 8:28pm</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Good night Nora</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Legends of Tomorrow is finally back on our screens in two days!!! I am excited to finally see Avalance again. Even though she will get hurt in this episode 💔 But I know Ava will be there for her. </p>
<p>And I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. I am having a hard time writing because of work but I am really trying to make this better for you guys.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Sometimes It's Okay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi. </p><p>Sorry if it took months for me to update this. I have resumed working in the office for 2 months now so I was just slumped with so much work. I had also been so stressed out with everything that is happening because of this pandemic and with what's happening in my country.</p><p>I was also in a bad place for the past few weeks that's why I wasn't able to work on anything but I am really trying and I really want to go back on working on this. </p><p>Anyway, this is just a filler chapter but I'm already halfway working on a full chapter which hopefully I can finish soon. Don't worry as I have already planned how this fic will go. But it might take time so please bear with me. 😊</p><p>Keep safe everyone! And always wear a mask!</p><p>******</p><p>TW: SUICIDE/DEPRESSION</p><p>******</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sara suddenly sat up on her bed as she gasped for her breath. She looked around and realized that she was still in her room. She looked at the time. <em>12:50am.</em></p><p>"It was just a dream." She told herself as she slumped her body back on the bed. She closed her eyes as she tried to fall back to sleep again. Fifteen minutes passed and she's still trying to sleep. She opened her eyes and just stared at the ceiling.</p><p>It was quiet. Calm. Peaceful. Even in her mind there's nothing. She stayed like that for a few minutes before she sat up on her bed.</p><p>She got up and sat at her desk. She took out some papers and started writing.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Hello. It's past one in the morning and I can't sleep so here I am. I don't know who I'm writing to but I've been told that this is like a good way of letting out my feelings. Like some sort of therapy, I guess? Anyway… I just had a dream and I saw her. Laurel. It was like she was there and I can feel her. But then it felt like I was losing her. Then nothing. Everything felt empty. And that's when I woke up. So now I've been awake for like half an hour and I can't fall back to sleep again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why do I keep feeling like this? When will this end? Or will this ever end? Sometimes everything starts to become overwhelming and exhausting that you just want to forget everything and disappear. And the only way of disappearing that you could think of is dying. Wouldn't that be nice? Let's just live this life and move on to the next, or to whatever happens after death. But if only things are easier said than done.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sometimes I think to myself "do I really want to end this life or just to end this struggle?" But I guess it's just the same."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sara paused and she stared at the letter that she just wrote. After a few moments, she took out another paper to write on.</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hi. I will not ask how you are because I know how much you hate it when people do. I know you will say “you’re fine” even though you’re not and it just tires you. It tires you to wake up everyday and force yourself to live the day as if nothing’s wrong. It tires you to live the same day over and over again that everything started to become a routine. It tires you that you just can’t help but to let it all out and have a breakdown as soon as you got home because everything that happened took a heavy toll on you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sometimes it’s okay. Sometimes it’s okay to say that you’re not fine. Sometimes it’s okay to be weak. Sometimes it’s okay to be vulnerable in front of other people. Sometimes it’s okay to cry. Sometimes it’s okay to go with the pain because it reminds you that you’re alive. Sometimes it’s okay to accept the fact that you’re in a bad place. Sometimes it’s okay to admit that you want to give up. Sometimes it’s okay to take a step back. Sometimes it’s okay not to be okay.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know you’re tired of the same things happening over and over again. I know you’re scared of going down that path again. I know you want to stop hurting and to stop struggling. But I know you can get past this just like how you got past it before. You kept asking yourself how have you survived this far and until now the same question lingers. I don’t know how you get past the struggle of surviving even just a single day. I don’t know how you keep staying no matter how many times you repeatedly say that you want to die. I don’t know how you do it but here you are. But if you feel like it’s too much, take a step back and breathe. You are not obligated to be strong all the time. It’s okay to fall down sometimes. But never let the monster inside overcome you. Let it go but never let it take you."  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sara stopped writing as she felt her eyes water. She put the pen down and stared out her window as she let out a long breath.</span>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So that writing thing actually helped me cope oftentimes especially when everything has become so overwhelming for me and I can't talk to anyone. It's one of the things that I really appreciated learning when I was in college.</p><p>Also, I took that second letter out of my notes. It was actually a letter to myself that I wrote just recently. I just feel like sharing it with you guys. But of course I changed it a bit so it still speaks for the character.</p>
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